Boom. Boom. Boom.

 Boom. Boom. Boom. My heart was beating, faster than ever before. It was a lukewarm Saturday night, and I was driving a girl back home. It was now or never. I couldn't go back up north for two weeks wondering what could've happened if I hadn't chickened out again.  I kept telling myself that on the next street I'd bring it up. You know what, the next street. Actually, I'd rather the next street. It's scary, you don't ever really know what the girl is thinking, and you don't like feeling vulnerable. I was getting worried that I wouldn't be able to do it, that I was just a chicken. Here we were, just the two of us driving. I couldn't have dreamed of a better storybook situation. And I really wasn't going to do it? Suddenly, something inside me snapped, and as I stopped the car, I knew I was about to make it happen. My heart was pounding, but I knew it was going to be now or never. 

      Imagine being around something you love for three years, yet are never able to really reach out and grab it. You think about it constantly, wish it was yours, and would give anything to make it happen. It takes over your life, socially, mentally, and emotionally. No matter who you're with, or where you are, it's always on your mind. One day, after much internal and external effort,  you find the courage to take that jump, and can finally acquire what you've been dreaming of the whole time. 

   I turned on the light, looked her straight in the eyes, and began. I said "Alright. Let's talk for real. We always give each other advice, and we always help each other with everything. And I'm gonna need your help with this one, because I've never done this before". She quietly said that she hadn't done this before either, so I was pretty sure she knew what was about to take place. "And that's tell a girl how much I like her....I really like you Shifra. And it's been that way for a while. I know it's been confusing, so first of all I just wanted you to know that." 

As I said the words "I really like you Shifra", and looked straight into her eyes, I felt a connection that I've never felt with anyone before. She was looking back with a blazing look in her eyes, and I'm sure I was staring back with the same expression in mine. As I said it, I saw her expression turn into pure happiness. Nothing else in the world mattered at that second, just Shifra and me. Right there and then, I decided that this wasn't only for me, I'd do anything to make her look at me in that way forever, it was incredible. She was glowing with happiness.  I wish I had that moment on video, but at least I have it anchored solidly in my mind. 

  She said she really likes me too, and that it's been that way for a couple of years. She's wanted to say something for a while, but always chickened out. We're the perfect chicken couple. We then went through the list of people that suggested we become a couple, which was funny to hear. The last time I felt anything close to this feeling of happiness and excitement was on a chilly afternoon a few months before in Wembley Stadium, where my dad and I witnessed the greatest comeback in Lions history. By this point, I wasn't feeling vulnerable anymore. Happy, excited, and yes, even a little self pride, for I was finally able to do it. 

  When I asked whether she wants to become an official couple, she said yes, ever so quietly. Literally, dreams coming true. I was absolutely delighted, and could get the smile off my face if I tried. As I turned the car off at her house, all I could think of was thank god I finally was able to do it. We decided to tell people slowly, after we told our parents. Everyone I've told responded with some version of "It's about time". We built this up together for a few years without knowing it, but I think that's healthy. We both have wanted it for a while, so this isn't a instant decision by any means.

  This was a good weekend. If it would've happened Wednesday night, it may have ruined her Netiyot with chanichot. If it happened Thursday or Friday, it would've taken away from L's bat mitzvah. Motzei Shabbat was the perfect time, the perfect moment, and I'm glad that somehow I was able to gather enough courage to make this happen. No more hiding feelings, no more not knowing what the other side thinks. It's amazing. Good luck to us on this start of something new.