PIGUA.

 

Have you ever left your toddler, baby and wife at home, and gone to a wedding? Sure. But did you receive a call from your hysteric wife on the way back telling you there were very loud gunshots nearby?

Last night, at 11:30 PM, I got that call. I immediately calmed her down, by saying it was probably a drill, and the IDF does these all the time. Two minutes later, the siren rang throughout the Yishuv, and with it an announcement that there may be a terrorist with a weapon in the Yishuv. The announcer alerted everyone that they should turn their lights off, ensure all doors are locked, and close all window shutters. This, of course, prompted Shifra to call me, in even more hysterics. We stayed on the phone, with me very unsuccessfully trying to make her laugh, updating her on what the responders were writing on the groups. I felt very helpless of course, but did my best to stay positive. We stayed on for over an hour, until we heard the announcement that yes, a terrorist did shoot into the Yishuv, but all is now under control. Once I understood we were back to control (at 12:45 AM), I took my in-laws car and drove back. I had been planning on staying in Modii’n as I had a ride from the wedding, and needed to be in Tel Aviv early this morning.

The drive through Taybe was a little bit unsettling, but was okay for the most part. I got home around 1:30, ran in, and began the process of calming us both down. 

This morning, the full story came out. The terrorist drove up to the outer fence of the Yishuv, and fired 30 rounds at a building. Luckily (or with the hand of G-D), that building has not yet been populated (According to all the contracts, they were supposed to be). The building that was hit is one block down (or a 4 minute walk) from where Shifra and the kids were. 

I’m having so many feelings. Guilt for not being there, proud of the Shifra’s bravery, gratitude to Hashem that it ended this way, relief that the kids didn’t wake up, disbelief that it happened the one night I was out, scared about what tonight will bring. There are also unimaginable thoughts about the feelings had Shifra and I both been at the wedding (like we discussed) while a babysitter watched our kids through this, with us locked out of the Yishuv. 

We are a little shaken up, but okay. 

I’ve been trying to think about why this one affected me so much. We have had run to bomb shelters, lived through rockets, been near to other attacks, infiltrations from Lebanon, and a bunch of other scary things. Is it just because our two kids were in such close proximity? Probably, but I think its more than that. 

The other ones were external. It was shooting from Gaza, or even sometimes Lebanon. It was very easy to imagine the terrorists as monsters, and be okay with that description in my head. But here, these Arabs, are part of us. While on my way to work yesterday, there were more than usual waiting for their rides on the side of the roads. I see them at construction sites, building Israel’s future. I have friends who are Arabs too, from various places of work. 

After seeing all the terrorist attacks in the past week, its becoming harder to feel sympathetic to the “good” ones. And I’m sure there are many, who just want to live in peace. But when looking at things like their educational system which teaches them to kill as many Israelis as possible, along with the celebrations and fireworks that went through the Palestinian towns when our innocent were murdered this week, it makes it harder to believe its possible. 

So what am I supposed to do? When I sit next to an Arab on the bus, should I be concerned he is planning on pulling a knife out? Should I smile at them? What if it was him that shot at my town, or his cousin, or friend. What if he supports it? If only they wore name tags, with “Good Guy” and “Bad Guy”. Because this way is too hard to differentiate.