Simchat Torah 2023 will not soon be forgotten by anyone. (Last night was very nice, great dancing in Shul etc. - and that is the last normal thing that happened on the holiday/Shabbat this year.)
We happen to live in Modiin, which usually is one of the safest places that can be. And so when we woke up, to nonstop booms for 3 hours, it felt like something was going on, but we didn't know exactly what. We couldn't find out exactly, but knew something was up. I went to shul, which was very quick. Only one song at Hallel, one song for each Hakafa, and moved to downstairs where a little bit safer. The whole Davening, rumors were going around, but some of them were too crazy to imagine.
I had Kol Hanearim Aliyah, which is the Aliyah where all the children join in. My dad went to get Hadar and Eitan, and I was lucky enough to have them with me. In my mind, I had Kavana for myself, my kids, all kids in Shul, all parents who are having fertility issues and want kids, and also praying for the safety of all children in Israel. The kids went home immediately after, which ended up being great timing.
All of this led to perfect timing of Modiin's first siren - in the middle of Mussaf Kedusha. Without thinking, I went against the flow of people, and sprinted the hardest I ever have to Shifra's parents' house, where I knew my kids were. Tallit still on me, Kippa in my hand, I just knew I could make it down to her house and up the flights of stairs to the Bomb Shelter, where I knew they would be. Sure enough, I made it about 45 seconds before the familiar booms of the Iron Dome upstairs. We explained to Eitan that Israel is telling us to go in the special room, and that its safe. Then we distracted with gamesI didn't go back to shul. From there, we walked VERY quickly to my parents for lunch, and stayed there for most of the day.
When we got back home, we immediately started a Simchat Torah songs + Mordechai Shapiro songs dance party with the kids. Definitely the best part of a difficult day that was about to get much worse once we turned the news on.
Somehow, many many terrorists broke into Israel's Southern Kibbutzim, and started going door to door, shooting, lynching, and kidnapping innocent men, women, children, grandparents, and in short - people just like me and you. Kids of all ages, mothers, and all of the above. Simultaneously, they shot THOUSANDS of rockets into Israel, all over the place. There was a party that they shot up, and kidnapped many people.
And the worst part is, this feels like a dramatic loss, no matter what we do to respond. By far the worst day in Israel's history, with the numbers already over 300 dead and 1500 injured. There are many "Victory Images" - taking over Yishuvim and Kibbutzim, bases, police stations, killing high ranking commanders, bringing SO MANY hostages back, driving an IDF vehicle back into Gaza, talk (not confirmed) about rape. And lots of helplessness, with a feeling like no one is steering this ship. Until now, we have not yet retaliated back, and we better retaliate back heavily. We just need to be careful about how due to the hostage situation.
And as we catch up on the news that was going on while we were semi-blissfully celebrating our Holiday and Shabbat - it becomes more personal. I hear about my friend from my Navy boat, still missing. I hear about a close friend from work, who's sister and her boyfriend were at that party, still missing. I hear about another close friend from work, who was in a building that suffered a direct hit today in Netivot (Thank G-d, in a shelter so physically unharmed). I hear that my friend's (who already lost a best friend and brother in terrorist attacks) brother's house was broken into by terrorists, and he is among the injured. I hear that my brother in law and wife's cousin are on the border, ready to go in when called upon. I hear that my uncle was called up for reserves, and that my cousin was called out of his home during the Holiday. I hear that my boss and closest teammate at work have been called up too. I hear that two of my close friends have been called up. I hear that my brother and other brother in law are on alert.
A hard part is the feeling of helplessness - I don't have reserve duty, so I am scrambling to volunteer for anything I can. And another hard part is - we may not even know how bad it is - it keeps getting worse with every report. And a third hard part is, I am sure my cousins and family members out of Israel are getting reports, but due to Simchat Torah, it will be about 48 hours before they can actually check the news and check in with us. I am trying to contact them through non-Jews I see on their Facebooks but so far not working.
May we know better days soon, may we all stay safe, may the hostages be returned, and may we end this and restore our pride quickly.
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