Telling Her

This morning I teared up for the first time in a while. I haven't really cried very much since October 7th, something feels blocked. But as I watched my daughter happily eat Trix cereal this morning, for probably the last time ever, without her even knowing, all the emotions came out. She had a Gan party today, and so we decided it was her last gluten day, so she could have one more party without thinking about it (she enjoyed the falafel). 

When she came home from Gan, Saba Dov distracted Eitan, and we took Hadar down to go for a bike ride. While she was biking, I told her. 

"Hadari, you have a very special tummy. It knows exactly what is good for it and not good for it. And there are some things that are not good for your tummy, and so you are not going to be able to have them. Something called gluten, Some people like Avi can't eat peanuts, and other people can't eat milk. What you can't have is gluten, which is in things like bread, cookeis, pizza. But your mummy and daddy are going to make sure you always have yummy food. Ok? then she nodded yes, that she understands. 

And then I told her, that this is the best way for her to become big and strong. She was very excited about becoming big and strong. 

Then I invited her to the supermarket, but she wanted to bike around with Eitan. 

I bought a bunch of gluten free stuff, which now we need to look for. Literally, bought her every type of thing, like Bamba, pretzels, cookies, fruity pebbles, etc. Partly for her to see that she is going to be ok, and partly for myself to see that she is going to be ok. 

At dinner we told the other kids (really just Eitan), that Hadar has a special tummy and she can only eat things that are good for her and will make her strong. 

And we are beginning our new reality, to make Hadar feel happy, safe, and healthy.